The Pleasure and Pain of a Life Well Lived

Today we dug compost through the vege patch (and by "we", I mean my husband), then we transplanted some baby strawberry plants and sowed our winter veges (both of us). Fingers crossed everything grows! Once that was done I went around dead-heading the roses, some of which are still going great guns even though we're officially well into autumn.

There's one particular rose that is a lot of work, because it's always covered in hundreds of blossoms. It's an old-fashioned "coral" rose, dark pink with only five petals on each flower. The profusion of blooms is lovely, but it means I have to spend a lot more time snipping off all the dead heads. And I need to do this to make more flowers come.

My brain drifted into thinking about how this is like life. If you'll indulge me...

The first way is that sometimes we need to cut things out of our lives before we can move forward. Perhaps we need to literally clear clutter out of our homes before we can take up a new hobby, make room for a child or downsize to a smaller house. Clearing physical space can also lift weight from our spirits, making it easier to move through life. Other times, we may need to prune bad influences from our lives, whether that is negative people, poor media choices or clinging to old habits... anything else which stops us from moving forward.

The second thing that occurred to me is that with much beauty comes much work, with much risk comes greater reward, and sometimes with much pleasure comes much pain. The bigger lives we lead, the more potential there is for hard times. If we choose to love, we may be hurt. Putting ourselves out there artistically comes with the inevitable stab of rejection. In order to be successful in business, you have to put in the hard yards. Some people live smaller lives, doing just enough to survive with what they're given. But I hope I have the courage to live larger, to work hard and love fully in the hope of a richer existence.

Daily deal sites... How do I love thee

Image: Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Yesterday I had my hair cut at a salon, which might not sound that exciting, but I seriously can't remember the last time I visited a salon... it must be at least 10 years ago. I've always thought of it as an extravagance. I've visited hair dressers who work out of their homes a few times, but mostly I've just had either my mum or my husband trim the ends for me once in a while. I've never had a manicure or pedicure, and until recently I'd never been to a spa for a massage. Why throw that sort of money down the drain?

So what's changed? Daily discount sites have arrived! 1-dayout, Groupon, Grabone, Groupy, Spreets, Dailydo and now Treatme... I love them all. They offer anything from food to beauty to accommodation, all at least 50% off. I don't mind paying $30 for a 45 minute massage (and I have, thank you). And I didn't mind paying for the wash, conditioning treatment, style cut, blow wave, straightening and take home product I got last night for the princely sum of $37. I wouldn't like to pay that for a cut on a regular basis, but as a treat it was great. The only problem was there was a language barrier with the guy who actually cut my hair which was a little frustrating, so I don't know if I'd go back there. But he did a nice job with the cut. My husband is still adjusting - he's never seen me with 'styled' hair.

I'm actually reasonably selective about the deals I buy - if it's too far from home or work, or if I've already bought something similar I won't bother. But courtesy of these sites we've already enjoyed our wedding anniversary dinner, and ridiculously cheap pizza and gelato (3 different vouchers). I have vouchers that we'll use in the future for the Stardome planetarium (can't beat discount stars!) and an hour long Swedish massage. Without these sites we wouldn't be doing these things, and life would be just a little bit more tedious. Bargain-hunters of the world, rejoice!

Leaving the Nest

I am starting to share my WIP with some beta readers. Just drip-feeding it by chapter, so that:

 

a) I can keep working away on the rest of it in the meantime and

b) So they can opt out at any time, like products you get from an informercial

 

It makes me excited, to finally share what I've done. It also makes me petrified, because maybe what I've done is absolute rubbish. But I'd rather have these readers tell me that, than send it off to agents in a sorry state. I have some readers who are writers, and a couple who are good friends/avid readers. At least for those who've read my previous stuff, I'm pretty confident that this is a whole lot better.

 

I knew my first chapter needed the most work, because I'd added so many extra notes in there while I was completing the rest of the draft, and when I first wrote it I was telling myself the story so there was too much exposition. I cut over a thousand words during this edit, but I also added stuff in to flesh out the characters (now that I know them better) and lay some more groundwork for what's to come. I did a fair bit of editing as I went with the latter chapters, but as I tackle them again I know I need to step out of the story and focus on the other elements. And I'm looking forward to reading it again because, you know, I like it.

Are Your 'Fit to Fly'?

In case you missed it, I thought it might be fun to share the latest somewhat entertaining inflight safety video produced by Air New Zealand. They've got some American guy called Richard Simmons to make it like an 80s exercise video. Does anyone know who Richard is and why they might have chosen him?

Air NZ broke the mould with their 'Our Low Fares Have Nothing to Hide' themed video.

Yes, everyone's naked. Very clever, but the giggling and cheesiness got a bit much after a while.

Next, they felt the need to remind us that they sponsor the All Blacks.

And now, this latest offering. There's a lot of Kiwi "celebrities" and in-jokes, but it's still fairly funny if you don't understand those.

I'm not hugely brand loyal to Air NZ.They flaunt their monopoly on many routes, they are condescending if you need help or something went wrong (and have unneccessarily plumbed hundreds of dollars from us a few times), and those 'Rico' ads were just embarrassing. But I have to admit they're on the bleeding edge of innovation, I feel a surge of pride every time I see that Koru in a foreign land, and they do know how to make an interesting infight safety video.

P.S. Their April Fool's joke was to send an email out saying that they're now going to charge for flights based on weight (person + luggage). I actually think that's a jolly good idea.

On Being an Introvert

I came across this post on introversion on Twitter this week, and there were several tweets around it, mainly around not all introverts being alike, and how introversion is a trait that's not right or wrong. 

I love being with close friends and family, particularly in small groups, but having to spend extended periods of time having to talk to anyone else is draining. My new workplace seems to be peppered with excuses to drink and generally socialise with large groups of mainly extroverted people. This is extremely daunting. There's a huge party (read: piss-up) off site next week that everyone's excited about. Even the thought of it is torture. Being nervous about getting back to the train station late at night (in a dodgy area) also isn't helping. But I can't really complain when so many people have so much horrible stuff to deal with right now.

I am a shy introvert. Meeting new people makes me squirm. I much prefer to communicate using the written word, over face-to-face conversations or (shudder) telephone calls. Experience has taught me to mask my shyness when I must (especially in workplace situations), but I'd much rather let my husband do all the talking around unfamiliar people. I'd also like to think I'm a relatively good actor - I react to social situations in the manner I think people expect me to: smiling instead of grimacing, appearing welcoming when I'd rather shut the door, or expressing enthusiasm instead of dread.

I also really identify with the need to be alone to recharge. I can't relax on the train. I always relished having the house to myself growing up. After a day at work or being out with people, I always like to be able to flop on the bed and just do nothing but process, eventually being able to relax. Music helps. Being with my husband is better than being alone, but when we are apart I'm able to be almost as happy by myself, if I'm free to do whatever I want to do.

I know there are some writers who are extroverts, but in order to survive the long periods of solitude writing demands, surely it must better suited to people like me. Which personality type do you most identify with? Have you tried to change to suit what you think the world expects?

New Characters Over the Fence

As of last night we have new neighbours. We were saddened by the news that our old neighbours had decided to down-size: they were retired and therefore without noisy children or loud music... just a sports-mad and slightly-deaf husband who yelled at the TV all day. They were cat people and kept an eye on ours when we were away, and we occasionally traded home-grown vegetables over the fence.

The furtive glances at the new editions reveal they are possibly late forties, and so far seem to be child-free. They own a 1970's Jaguar. That might be all we have to go on until they are settled in enough to introduce themselves. It's kind of funny: now that my brain is permanently set to writer's mode, I find myself thinking about the new neighbours as if they are new characters that I need to discover. Except that in this case, they won't just reveal themselves in my mind. As we get more clues, we'll probably sketch together our own impressions... which might prove to be the total opposite of what they actually are! The forty year olds might be their children or parents for example.

It made me think of my characters, about what attributes I normally think of first, and how sometimes they reveal surprising things about themselves. Have you ever had a character do a 180 turn on you (that you didn't expect) or do they generally behave themselves?

Anyway, it's weird to think that we won't see our old neighbours ever again, after seeing them nearly every day since we moved in. It reminds you about the transcience of life.

Sophie decided to be particularly vocal all night, wanting to go in or out every few minutes. We were accommodating just to shut her up - we didn't want the new neighbours to be disturbed on their first night. I really hope they are cat people.

The Best and Worst of Times

I spent last Friday hiking and then climbing up a peak in the Grampian mountains of Victoria, then gazing at kangaroos grazing in the evening warmth. Reminders of the January floods were everywhere - Halls Gap is the only town you can get to in the entire region, after 194 landslides have made the rest of the state park out of bounds. But Halls Gap was flooded too - luckily it was only the businesses nearest the river and they are all open again. We ate dinner at one of the cafes there. Upon returning to our rented cottage, I flicked on the TV to see those horrible pictures of the tsunami tearing through Japan. And you just feel like, "OMG, what next?" We try to go on with our lives, trying to find joy in experiences and with those close to us... but sometimes, it just feels like there's no way you can avoid feeling depressed. Do you know what I mean? Now I am more relieved than ever about New Zealand's nuclear free stance.

Anyway, we had a fabulous time on our holiday, so much so that the post-holiday blues really took hold on Sunday night. It was our first time to Melbourne, but we felt right at home straight away. Our trip was split between city exploring, airshow attending and driving around the Mornington Peninsula and Great Southern Touring Route.

On our return I discovered that the lovely Sierra had nominated me for the Write Hard blog award. Thanks Sierra! I'd like to nominate my other original followers, Writergal24 and Brooke.

I'm getting settled into my new job, and now I'm looking forward to having time to catch up with friends, tidy up the garden, plan our trip to my sister-in-law's wedding later this year, and of course, work on the second draft of my WIP. I want to give my beta readers the first couple of chapters yesterday!

And now, the shameless parade of holiday photos - enjoy!

Melbourne City