Forging Ahead

When I published my first book in October 2014, I never expected it would be such a long time before the second one was done. What happened? Life intervened. In the best possible way.

I met my husband shortly before book #1 came out. My life was filled with dates and dreaming. Soon I was planning our wedding and honeymoon, then we renovated our house and sold it, while designing and building another. While I was pregnant. Then, after the baby came (and we moved house), I entered the brain-fog known as motherhood. It wasn't until I went back to work after a year that I managed to get some sort of headspace back, and the energy to write again.

And now here I am, with the final draft of the next book done and with an editor, and my cover ready to go. I am about to ride this crazy roller coaster all over again. And I hope to do it again before too long!

The second book in the series I'm calling "Hearts of Amberley" is entitled GLOVED HEART. It follows the stories of two of the minor characters from the first book, THE VAGABOND VICAR. 

GLOVED HEART is now available for pre-order, and I've just revealed the cover which you can see below this book description. Now, to work on getting the word out there!

Can she ever trust again?

Amy Miller is struggling to come to terms with her new life as a mother, while being a reluctant guest in a rigid gentry household. A victim of abuse, she is determined to never trust a man again.

Henry Russell has loved Amy for as long as he can remember, but his family want nothing to do with her. A chance encounter with Amy rekindles a friendship which might save both of them.

The discovery of a secret which holds the key to Amy’s past will change them both forever, and jeopardise any chance they have for happiness. Can Henry show Amy that true love will give her everything she could ever need?

Mummy Brain – The Struggle is Real!

Sleepless. Overjoyed. Frustrated. Elated. Isolated, but no time for me.

The life of a new mother is relentless. So rewarding. So punishing. So brain-numbingly tedious but emotionally stressful. At the end of the day creativity is at an all-time low, and the struggle to get the rear end off the couch or do anything other on the laptop than peruse emails or social media is all but hopeless.

But I know I need to fuel the creative fire to feel alive again. To feel like me. I am a writer. And that means that occasionally, once in a while… I should actually create some words. Fictional words in extraordinary worlds which only live in my imagination, where stories dwell that only I can tell. It’s just even harder than ever to find the headspace, let alone the energy, to let the juices flow and feel the wonderful reward (as well as the agony) of creation. All my mental power is consumed by nap times and durations, creating ever changing menus, getting to activities on time and whether I'm doing white or colours washing. I can't even remember what I did this morning. Creating fake people from scratch is a little challenging.

My most productive period in the past was after 8:30pm, when I gave myself a deadline each night to turn off the TV/internet/whatever and just write something, even for half an hour. That would frequently turn into two hours or more once I was in flow. Now at 8:30 my husband and I tend to look at each other and drowsily debate what else we will do before going to bed.

You would think that being home all day would lead to more productivity, not less. But naptime is dominated by trying to catch up housework, life admin, attempting to connect with other humans and… maybe, personal hygiene. And given I may have been up for much of the night before, mustering the drive to be creative is challenging to say the least.

Now I am back at work, and needing to cram in mothering/wifing/lifing into even smaller slots. On the weekend my husband is so busy trying to be helpful, it’s very difficult to have him be solo-daddy for an hour or so, so I can get into my writing.

But I know I need to give myself the time and space to write. I need to make a routine, the same way I do for other essential parts of my life, now that we have more structure in our lives. I don’t have the answer yet. But I have the will. And I hope that is a good start.

How have other mothers got their mojo back? Please share your strategies for regaining this important part of becoming yourself again!

Am I Strong Enough For This?

Image courtesy of tiverylucky
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So, I've previously posted about this roller-coaster ride that is the journey to potential publication. And here I am, riding it again. I've been receiving feedback on my MS, and also starting to query. My baby is officially taking its first steps out in the world. And along with that comes the highs and lows of the writer’s journey.

My first couple of query responses are rejections. I’m down.

I received some encouraging feedback from a friend. I’m up.

I don’t final in a competition (although my scores were pretty good, some of the feedback flummoxed me). I’m down.

The next day, I receive a request for the full manuscript from an agent. I’m up.

I cast my eye over the manuscript, fixing a few small things noted by the contest judges and beta readers, and I decide the whole thing is pretty much crap. I send it off anyway. Feeling down and generally like a scaredy cat.

And it makes me wonder: do I have the strength to cope with this? Am I actually going to go insane?

It’s only the beginning. If I make it over the first hurdle of getting an agent, there’s revisions, submissions… and then whether I end up publishing traditionally or self-publishing, along with the satisfaction there’ll be negative reviews, anxiety around sales numbers… and so on and so on.

This whole thing is tough, and it won’t ever let up, unless I choose to quit. 

I've done this before, and experienced the same highs and lows before, but each time I go through this process I’m that much more invested; the stakes seem that much higher. I'm probably more vulnerable than usual due to life events of the past 18 months. My day job is also a quagmire of stress, and it’s possibly the combination that threatens my sanity. I know publishing a book through either channel won’t be enough to take the day job out of the equation… but maybe one day… a girl can dream.

I had a full request early in my querying last time, and then I got not one, but two form rejections from that agent. So I am prepared for the sting, but the chance an agent will like it persists in the back of my mind, and it’s enough to spur me on to keep querying. I know this MS is not like a lot of single title romances out there – the comments from the contest judges confirm that. But I know there are others out there who have similar tastes to me, it’s just whether anyone in the industry thinks there is a big enough audience to take a chance on it. We shall see.

Am I strong enough to cope with all these crazy ups and downs? Well, the answer is that if I am ever going to make these dreams come true, then I have to be. There are no rewards without risk, and the greater the potential heartbreak, the greater the possible triumph.

The silver lining is the high you get when someone likes your work. And the more I put my stuff out there, hopefully the more positive feedback I’ll get. And that means I have to create more stuff, just keep working, and keep opening myself up to the hurts as well as the highs. Why am I doing this? Because I’m creating the kinds of stories that make me feel good, and I hope that they will make other people feel good too. It’s an explicable compulsion to create, to share, and hopefully, to enrich the lives of others.

How about you? Do you ever wonder if you’re strong enough to make it through all the insecurities? Do you have the perseverance required to make it to the next goal?

On to the finish line

So, I was away for a while. I made some long-held dreams come true, and I gained confidence in getting out in the world on my own.

Here's some evidence of my travels:



Now I'm in the home stretch on my second draft, deep in the the third act. I'm very conscious of not ruining things as I rearrange, edit and polish the final pages. It's a struggle between not rushing through scenes, while keeping up the pace. I feel as though I can see the finish line... at least the 'send it out for beta readings' line. I can't wait to get this baby out into the world, whether that's traditionally (which I'll attempt first) or via self-publishing. It's also nerve-wracking as my heart and soul is in those words, but I'll save stressing about that for another day.

Here's a song inspiring me at the moment - what's inspiring you?
(unfortunate freeze-frame)

The Value of Writerly Companionship

Image courtesy of tungphoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For many years, I have been afraid of letting my writing life cross over into my real life. I wouldn’t freely divulge my writing hobby among casual friends and acquaintances… though people accidentally finding my blog when it was under my real name sort of gave the game away. While I had overseas-based online writing buddies, I didn’t think joining a local real-life writers’ group would offer me much more than one conference a year and maybe some writing tips. Or perhaps I was just too much of a scaredy-cat to get over my shyness and put myself out there.

How wrong I was. Through Twitter, the great networker of our time, at first I followed like-minded writers in the US and UK, gradually finding Aussie authors. I’d been following a couple of Kiwi authors for a while, but eventually I came into the sphere of some active RWNZ members. One of them was so kind as to chat with me about my writing and invite me to the local chapter meeting. She was so lovely I just couldn’t say no.

At the meeting I met a variety of wonderful people who welcomed me in and were eager to find out about my writing journey. Shortly thereafter I joined RWNZ officially and have since enjoyed all the subsequent meetings, the newsletter and recently, the email loop. Unfortunately I won’t be able to go to this year’s conference due to a prior commitment (although that commitment is going to be pretty awesome).

I’ve already learnt so much. Not just about the craft and different approaches to writing, but about the various avenues to get your work out there. It’s amazing really: writers come in so many different personalities and tastes, but at the heart of it we all love to do the same thing: create characters, worlds and emotion.

These people are my people, and they get/understand so many parts of me like no-one else in my life can. I feel validated in all my quirks, methods and neuroses. I feel encouraged. I feel less crazy. And even though it’s early days, I feel a bond with this group. It’s still daunting rocking up to a large group of (mostly) ladies I barely know, but it gets easier each time, and when the writing discussion starts, I lap it up.

So if you’ve been thinking about joining a writer’s group, any group, I say go for it. If I scaredy-cat like me can enjoy it, you can too.

Natural Inspiration

When the minutiae of every day life threatens to overwhelm me, I have always turned to natural beauty for solace. I find my soul refreshed as I gaze in wonder at the world around me. On a recent afternoon country drive we took a walk and I was blown away by the sweeping vistas across the harbour and islands.

These images seem to sum up these little islands of paradise I live on... the clear sky, the deep blue ocean, a deserted pathway, and of course, sheep.

What ordinary magic inspires you in your every day life?

New Year... New Name... New Me

Image courtesy of mrpuen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My life is in a transitory phase at the moment. I'm doing my best to forge ahead, focusing on my dreams. A big part of that is my literary dream, and I hope to have more time over the next few months to focus on my second draft... although there are more transitions to endure.

With the new year, I thought it an ideal time to create a new identity for myself, as my old identities seem somewhat inappropriate for the new me. My first name is my own, but my surname needs a makeover. I need something of my own. This will be my online identity, and I also intend to publish (fingers crossed) under this name.

So it's out with the old and in with the Brentwood. I have no idea why I chose that particular name. It just dropped into my head and seemed just as good as any other. A google search revealed no author competition. 

If anyone has been generous enough to bookmark this blog, please update the link.

On a different note (see what I did there?), I'm loving this song at the moment, even if it does me cry on occasion.

32 and still growing up now...

You Only Live Twice

It’s Bond, James Bond season again. I have an album of the songs from the movies, and when I listened recently this song jumped out at me.


You only live twice
Or so it seems
One life for yourself
And one for your dreams

As writers, we can definitely identify with this. We live parallel lives in our waking dreams (at least I know I do!). As you live out your real life, at the same time your imagination is carrying on a fantasy... creating another universe, which can seem just as real – sometimes more so. If you have more than one story on the go at once, or even just multiple POV characters, it can seem like three or more lives!

It’s funny when you think about it – as you go about your business, no-one knows the rich worlds you are dwelling in in your mind, the characters you love as if they weren’t just figments of your imagination. It's a delicious secret, and though it may seem mad to others, perhaps this second life is what keeps us sane!

How much of your thought-life is in your real life, versus your second, writer's life?

Procrastination Station

Image courtesy of Matt Banks / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I finished the first draft of my WIP back at the end of June. I anticipated a week or two off to let it rest. During those weeks my personal life fell apart and things got off track. Over the past month or so I have wanted to get back to the story. But for some reason, I just couldn't make myself do it. I have been busy with other things in real life, but even once I had a little time, reading blogs or even critiquing others' work seemed more attractive... safer.

It's strange that the activity that gives me the most pleasure is also the one I can be the most reluctant to undertake. How could that be?

Perhaps it was just too daunting to consider all the work I will need to do. I know several structural decisions need to be made and carried out, and there is still a lot of historical research to be done. Then there's all the little details at a sentence and even a word level, with so much to remember as I move through each page. Maybe I worry that I will ruin the novel if I make bad decisions about plot or character. And maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to give my leisure time over to more work.

I eased myself into the process by reading through the spreadsheet I made detailing each scene, chapter and act (with word count, POV and plot for each). I was much relieved to find my excitement rising as I fell in love with the story all over again, even before reading the actual words of the novel itself.

Confidence bolstered, I began to edit chapter one. And that's when I remembered: I love to do this. Once I started, I lost all sense of time and my surroundings. I started to make bold decisions and to cut alternative phrases and re-write paragraphs based on developments I wrote later in the story and recent research. I also spent quite a while trying to decide between two similar words, and in researching some little details - but we must allow ourselves to obsess every now and then, right? At least I am back on the horse.

Have you ever found it hard to get back into a WIP? Why, and how did you get your groove back?

Pondering Pen Names

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s a bit spooky: over the past week or so I’ve been considering taking up a pen name for my identity as a writer. Then all of a sudden, there’s a flurry of articles about pen names:

• Rachelle Gardner
• Karen Woodward
• Dean Wesley Smith

I was originally going to publish using my real name, but because of a recent change in my personal circumstances, and the fact that it’s hard to spell, I am 99% sure I will create a pseudonym that will remain constant throughout my career. I will keep my first name.

The idea is actually somewhat exciting. It makes my status as a writer seem more official somehow. I am not in a hurry to adopt a name, even though one has popped into my head. I even googled it to make sure there are no potential competitors. I want to study up on potential cool names before I decide, and even then I don’t think I will both to adopt it until the day when I (hopefully!) get some interest from agents. It will take some effort to make the change - not only the blog, but things like my Twitter and even my email address.

For now I will only be writing in one genre, but I do have ideas for stories in other (albeit related) genres. Previous wisdom was to have different pseudonyms for each “brand”, but I agree with Rachelle’s article that this would get unwieldy. I think modern readers are smart enough to figure out when their favourite author is trying something new, don’t you?

Do you write with a pseudonym? Do you prefer authors to stick to their brand?

Idea Murphy’s Law

I had an idea for a blog post the other day. I came up with a few sentences teasing it out, and I think I even had a title. I think it was when I was cleaning (myself or the house; I can’t remember). I thought there was no way I would forget it – that as soon as I next sat down to my computer it would flow out of me organically.

That was a couple of weeks ago. The idea didn’t come back.

This happens all the time with story ideas (both for my current WIP and new works). There’s the usual places like the shower or the commute, but sometimes it’s just impossible or downright rude to take note of random flashes of inspiration – say when you are having lunch with a friend, during a meeting at work, or in the middle of a painful beauty therapy session. The most torturous one for me is right before I drop off to sleep. What to do? I find myself repeating the idea over and over again in my head, but I have a terrible track record at remembering them later.

It seems like Murphy’s Law for new ideas. The more interesting the idea, the more inconvenient the time or place in which it drops into your head.

What is the most inconvenient time an idea has come to you? Did you manage to take note of it and/or remember it later?

Imagination Overload

Image:FreeDigitalPhotos.net

As a writer, I of course have a very active imagination. I am constantly thinking up scenarios for all kinds of characters. There seems to be a never-ending supply of romance, angst and happy-ever-afters in my head.

A side effect of this could be potentially dangerous, and I'm sure it must be common to all writers. I am also very good at imagining various different possible future scenarios for my own life, most of which are overwhelmingly positive. As I push myself to get to the next stage in my WIP I see myself penning a best-seller and walking the red carpet at the Oscars. Outlandish dreams can motivate us, but we have to make sure we aren't disappointed when reality falls short of our yearnings.

At the moment as I journey through a dark season, ridiculously trite fantasies seem to be a coping mechanism for me. I am  just another character, playing out scenes that won't ever happen. I need to be careful not to put hope in the fantasies I create for myself. But I can also use my imagination as a safe haven to get me through the tough times.

What sort of fantasies have you imagined for your own life? Do you get carried away or are you always realistic?





Turning Pain into Art

Without going into details, this is the worst time of my life. I am broken.

I haven't been doing much of anything, struggling to keep to my daily routines. Writing-related activities have fallen off my radar along with everything else. Even the last post on this blog had been scheduled earlier.

In the midst of the pain, there is a conciliatory thought. Now I know what this feels like, perhaps one day I can muster the strength to use some of it in my writing. My future works may been somehow enriched by this. Despair did muster my creativity into action briefly the other day, as I wrote a poem for the first time in years, pouring out my anguish as I tapped away on my phone on the train. Perhaps the depth of this emotion and confusion will unlock some deeper artistic need.

And during the coming days, hopefully I can pull myself back into life enough to work on my second draft. It's really the only thing in my life I can put hope in right now.

Have you expressed your personal pain in your fiction? Has art been cathartic for you?

Your Unique Contribution

Recently there was a death in my wider world. And apart from the grief and loss of those around, the main effect was to make me consider my own mortality.

If I knew I was going to die, what would I do? What are the things I would regret not experiencing? Because I love to see the world, of course many places jump to mind. But not seeing those places wouldn’t change who I was. Even though life would be the richer for seeing amazing sights, I’ve seen many of them on TV, and it costs more than I have right now to experience them. What really matters, in terms of what I can personally contribute to the world?

It’s sort of a bucket list, but it’s deeper than that. If I was dying, what would I actually regret not trying to do? Something that only I can contribute to the world?

Have kids? Well, maybe.

But I know it’s been my dream ever since I wrote stories as a five year old to see my name in print. To have a novel published, and to have readers be touched by it, to have it make them laugh, cry and escape for a few hours.

That’s my biggest dream. My unique contribution.

So, back to work.

I'm Just Upside Down

In a digital world, the distinctions between the northern and southern hemispheres are brought into focus. Back when I was growing up, I'd never been overseas, and I could happily watch television series three years old without worrying about spoilers. Having British grandparents I learned some Northern cultural traditions (like tartan and reels), but I never really had to pay attention to the seasonal timings of life on the other side of the world.

It was only when I began to write stories set in England that I had to shift my mindset, particularly around the seasons, and also having to think about plants and animals that don't exist in my part of the world. It's a constant effort to remember whether it will be hot or cold, and it was a surprise to learn that the Season was actually in late spring rather than winter.

It was only when I was in Europe this year, ending a few weeks before Easter, that the penny dropped regarding the significance of the timing of some festivals in the northern hemisphere. It's autumn for Easter here. Seeing early spring in Europe, I finally connected new life = spring = Easter. Previously having eggs for Easter didn't make any sense, but too yummy to question. Now it makes sense to me, with the whole spring/new life thing.

It also occurred to me that Christmas breaks up the cold season nicely in the north. For us it's the beginning of the summer holidays (meaning time off, although I always try to work as much as possible in order to have a holiday when the kids are back at school in late January/February). We have a few other public holidays over the coming months, and we just had Queen's birthday... and now we have no more free days until Labour Day at the end of October. That means the whole winter without any national time off or festivals of any kind.... nothing to look forward to. If you can afford to, you either indulge in snow sports or a holiday to the sun in Australia or the Pacific Islands. Otherwise you just hunker down and wait for the cold to pass. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD, how ironic) is common.

Anyway, I just thought I would share some observations about living down under. And who's to say we are upside down... maybe the earth is the other way around!

The title of this blog was inspired by this song... enjoy!

Confessions of a Slow Reader

This post is adapted from a comment I posted at Jordan McCollum's blog.

Okay, confession time: I am a snail reader. As in, I seem to crawl slowly through books. I didn’t realise I was a slow reader until I read blogs touting 50-100 or more per year, or I heard people rave about a book, saying they finished it in one sitting. I could never do that. It’s a combination of a lack of time (writing takes priority in my free time) and the actual speed that I read at. When I was a child I was faster than everyone else, but now it seems everyone else has sped up! I do make sure I read every word, and it makes me wonder if everyone else does.

I read on the train during my daily commute: a chapter or two per journey, and then I try to sneak in another few chapters during the weekend. So it takes me about two weeks to read a book, and I generally have around three on loan from the library (with a couple more on reserve). I suppose that’s around 10 hours of solid reading time to finish a book, but I do tend to let my mind drift occasionally (a lot of times to my own WIP!).

I’ll admit I haven’t read an “unputdownable” book in a long time. Even though I’m reading in my genre, I don’t really love most of the books that much. I’m still trying to find more authors I click with. So sometimes reading that chapter on the train is a chore, and I find myself rolling my eyes frequently with parts of the writing that annoy me.

If I was to challenge myself to read a number of books in a year, it’d be about 20! Sad, right?

How many hours of solid time does it take you to read a typical 350-400 page paperback? Am I the only snail reader around here?

Deadlines: It’s a Love/Hate Relationship

Ah, deadlines.... a necessary evil. Stuff must get done, and some stuff must be done by a certain time.

On the one hand, deadlines bring pressure, stress and the risk of sloppy work. On the other hand, some things just wouldn't get done without them. Without any deadlines, procrastination would rule.

I find I generally procrastinate the most about two types of things:

• Really easy stuff
  It’s the “I can do that later” kind of stuff that won’t take long but seems like it’s never important enough to do right now.
• Really hard stuff
  The tasks I just don’t want to think about. They stick around and haunt me, and it would really be easier if I just got them out the way. I just don’t want to.

So I spend a lot of time doing the middle-of-the-road stuff. It's only when I get closer to a deadline that I'll make myself tackle those things.

At work I generally have two sets of deadlines - by lunchtime and by the end of the day. But recently I've had IT working on my computer, and I had to give it up by at certain times on short notice. Usually I keep all my works in progress open so that I know what I have to work on (I hardly ever shut the thing down). But having to get rid of everything made me do a couple of things:

• I had to document my to-do list very clearly, without relying on just having stuff open (and stressing me out)
• It made me finish all the current little things, as well as a couple of big ones - and that felt really good.

So I was thinking, how can I apply a similar deadline to other parts of my life, in order to get that buzz of productivity? I'm not sure how yet - I'm not going to banish my personal computer... my willpower isn't that good. But there might be ways to encourage more focus, instead of trying to do three things at once or putting off the hard stuff.

With my writing, I don't think I've met a single deadline I've set for myself. I do beat myself up about it from time to time. But the deadlines are really just a means to an end - a way to push myself forward. The ironic thing is, success in writing means actual deadlines, and that's scary!

Well this was a somewhat disjointed post, but tell me: do you love or loathe deadlines? How do you make yourself get things done?

While I was drafting this post, this one popped up in my Twitter feed and it’s well worth a read.

European Holiday Snaps

Here are the promised photos from our recent European adventure. We took over 5,000 shots, so I've just pulled a few out to give you a taste.

Beginning with travelling down the Romantic Road...

Rothenburg ob der Tauber

Landsberg am Lech

Neuschwanstein Castle

Zugspitze, the top of Germany

Then skiing in the Dolomites...

Selva di Val Gardena

Alpe di Siusi

Then touring through Italy.

Bellagio, Lake Como

Varenna, Lake Como

The Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan

Portofino

Views from the Via dell'Amore, Cinque Terre

Replica of The David at Piazzale Michelangelo, Florence 

Up the top of the Duomo, Florence

Views over Tuscany from San Gimignano

Duomo, Siena

Amalfi Coast

Marina Grande, Capri
(our wedding anniversary)

The Faraglioni of Capri

Grotto, Capri

The Colosseum

St Peter's Basilica ,Rome
(note the light hitting the cross in the centre)

The Dome of St Peters

The Vatican

And then we flew home! Hope you liked the photos :-)

Off into the Sunset

In a few short hours, my husband and I will be boarding a plane which, after nearly 30 hours of exhausting travel, will deliver us into a winter wonderland in Europe. This holiday is the result of nearly 9 months of intensive planning, so suffice to say I'm very excited! Even just having 4 weeks off work is spectacular... the last time I had more than 2 weeks holiday was my last trip to Europe, 11 years ago. Time for a decent break!

So the blog will be somewhat dormat while I'm gone. I thought about scheduling posts in advance, but... I didn't. There might be a few cobwebs around when I get back.
The frantic planning has also meant writing has taken a back seat, pretty much since my last post about it. I now have just over 62,000 words, and I'm looking forward to the final push (towards about 80) when I return. I think I could write 5,000 words based on outlined scenes and ideas, and then I need some more inspiration to see me through to the end (metaphorically speaking - I wrote the actual end a long time ago). As some of my lovely commenters said, the time away will probably do me good.

Time to finish packing... Arrivederci!

Mark All As Read

I love catching up on my favourite blogs and news articles, usually with Google Reader. Whether I'm reading about someone's writing journey, craft tips, or a whole lot of stuff unrelated to writing, I like catching up on the world outside my own.

Confession time: I'm a little bit obsessive about reading every single post, even by people I don't know anything about (but their blog sounded interesting). As I read I like to see the "unread" number decrease until their blog name is completely cleared away. Sometimes I don't get time to keep up to date... well let's be honest, nearly every day I have a back-log. I keep finding interesting blogs to subscribe to. And sometimes, if it really gets too much, it need to "mark all as read".

But I really don't want to. I want to at least see the subject line of each and every post. I think I might be missing out on something great if I don't at least look. Perhaps I'll want to comment, or I might learn something new, or I might laugh.

Is it just me?

At the end of the month (the 26th, to be precise), I'm going on holiday for 4 weeks. There is no way I'll be able to catch up, so I will have to mark unread items as read. The very thought of it makes me uncomfortable, but it's inevitable. And I know once you click that button, it's an incredibly cleansing feeling. As if I've just taken a little weight off my shoulders. I don't have to read everything, even if I like to.

It'll be the same for all the actual mail that piles up while we're away... I need to prioritise what I'll read and throw out the crap. There's no point in putting magazines on my coffee table that I know I'll never read. And I've been progressively unsubscribing from email newsletters that I usually delete without much thought.

It makes me think of other things in life that we hold on to for no good reason. Perhaps we horde certain objects, which we think have sentimental or educational value but are just cluttering up our lives. What about the clothes you'll never fit again, that could have a useful purpose for someone who's actually that size and can't afford to buy them? Do you ever buy way too much healthy or perishable food with the best of intentions, but it ends up expiring before you eat it? Maybe we hold onto relationships with people who poison our thoughts, holding us back, because we'd rather be negative in a party than be alone. Or we hold a grudge because the person hasn't made it up to us yet, and they have no idea of the power they are holding over us. Even our dreams for the future can hold us captive if they're seriously not achievable. We have to let go of them, focussing on something more realistic rather than sacrificing our present lives by being miserable.

I think from time to time we need to admit we've fallen behind, and we've allowed things to get on top of us. Sometimes we just need to "mark all as read" (or even stop receiving/buying so much stuff in the first place) to clear out our lives. We'll feel so might lighter and in control. The opportunities lost will be gained in other future avenues. We just need to let go.

Have you ever reached a point where you had to cut something out of your life? Are you addicting to reading everything like me?